Exit night, Enter Saint Pedro

The next day after lunch were were offered the opportunity at the family meeting to share our previous night's experiences. It was incredible hearing about everyone’s experience. Some people really went through some hard testing times and it was fascinating to hear about it. A voice recorder was being passed around with the instructions to say your name and a brief recount of your experience for Christine. Christine is the owner/founder of Gia Sagrada and will be the Sharman taking us for the San Pedro ceremony the following day. She was also at the tail end of being sick so this is why we were recording our stories so she could hear about them while not risking getting others sick. As the voice recorder was passed to me I was again battling the nerves of talking in public but was feeling more comfortable and confident. After we had all finished sharing we began to talk about what to expect from the next ceremony. It would begin at 8am, multiple cups would be offered throughout the day and there would be the opportunity to sit on the magic carpet! The what?! The magic carpet was a rug in our case that we would sit on in front of the fire and talk with the Sharman. It’s said that in San Pedro you get given more practical ways and guidance to change and implement learnings from the Ayahuasca. A combination of LSD and MDMA is how the feelings were described to me while being on it and I was looking forward to it. 

It was the next day, we were in the Maloca wondering again what would the day bring! I had chosen my cot next to a younger German couple who were both artists and very cool interesting people! They were staying in our same area of accommodation and we had quickly become friends with Benny and Katharina. 

The fire was being built when Christine flew into the Maloca! I wasn’t sure what to expect but I was surprised! Pleasantly suprised! She had a big presence that you felt as soon as she entered! The first thing I noticed was her clothes, looking like a gypsy/slightly hippie hybrid with silver hair and very intense blue eyes which seem to look into your soul as she smiled and greeted everyone! The ceremony commenced and the first cup was handed out. While we waited there was more music being played as my attention was divided between the fire and watching what Benny was drawing. Observing art being born is a cool thing to witness. Christine spoke about different chapters of her life and I was liking her the more she spoke. Next thing I knew the rug had been brought out and placed in front of the fire. Christine explained that she would ask everyone two questions - “How have you lost your power and what are you doing to get it back”. Ahhh so at some point I was going to have to sit on a rug, possibly tripping pretty hard and talk about things?! Ok, no worries! Embrace the space! I was feeling good, slight visual distortions but my mind was very active. I made friends with our neighbour who was from Norway and his name was Vegard. He had been next to me during the Ayahuasca and we had bonded pretty quickly. He was very keen and excited to get on the carpet and get things started. “So how does this work?” He asked. He began speaking about his life, and man he had done some living. I won’t speak to much about his story but he had been suffering from severe depression for about 20 years. Watching him sitting there, in that moment in front of the fire being completely open and honest I saw his whole face become lighter as he let go of so much. Christine was guiding him with questions but it wasn’t like a counselling session. His experience with the ayahuasca had done wonders for him he was essentially being reborn with new life, new ideas and something he had been searching for a long time possibly - direction and true purpose. More people shared on the rug and I was feeling pretty high at this point. Sitting there listening intently to everyone’s stories and observing how Christine navigated the space was sending my mind into overdrive. I was having all these questions, ideas, epiphanies and confirmations all at the same time. I felt like I was in the presence of a prophet. Some mystical being sharing wisdom, dropping truth bombs and walking the line of compassion and hard facts of life when needed. Her words reflected my beliefs on life and I felt I was starting to understand more fully. When we change our minds we can change our world and our realities. I had been living that for the last few years. Slowly identifying and working through a lot of shit that I had created, accepting responsibility and trying every day to be better than the last. Christine was a gypsy Jesus and I was just super happy to be there in her presence. 

I was writing down free thoughts and ideas while she spoke and as best as I could manage. I was thinking and pondering that if we all come from a source energy, a universal conscience, "God" then that means that we are all creations and creators just like God is becase God is in us. If we are all on this earth as a way for God to live and experience through us, does that mean that God is also flawed and learning from the mistakes we make as we go through our lives? Are we all just reflections and projections of each other, here to help us collectively grow and reach higher enlightenment? Christine on a few occasions said that she is just reminding us of things that we already know and my mind was taken back to the second cup of Ayahuasca where I could see and interact with my younger self. I wondered - if I could go back and help heal my younger self, if we are all from the same source energy, is Christine just a projection of a future version of me, come back in time to help my current self with knowledge and tools to continue to grow into the best version we can become? Are we all on a similar journey, just at different stages of some sort of timeline? If I read this account even less than 5 years ago I would have been dismissive, looking for reasons to not believe, even mocking these ideas, and no doubt I would have thought that I was some kind of weirdo who had their head in the clouds and not in reality. But what is reality?! Some of the things I’ve seen and experienced have given me many answers but, in return posed so many more questions. Reality often comes into question. My head was literally exploding at this point, which was wild because I had somehow found my way onto the magic carpet! It was my turn and I was tripping but not out of control. I told Christine I wasn’t sure about how or why I had gotten there and that my mind was exploding! I asked her some questions about what I was thinking about, and through the flames she looked truly mystical and magical. I could see two other beings or energy on either side of her as she leant forward on her stool, peering through the flames into me. Her hand gestures, her movements. As we spoke another cup of San Pedro was passed around. I accepted the offer! I answered her original question of who took your power away and what are you doing to take it back with reflective thought. I had taken away my own power essentialy. Through feeding self-doubts and fears. Fears of failure, judgement from others. Hiding behind thoughts which had become words. Words had become actions which had turned into a false sense identity which would be reaffirmed through negative thoughts which become words…

All of these things can be changed, it’s just programming and what you are willing to accept more often than not. I’m grateful that I am becoming more and more aware of this and making changes. Failing and trying again. “Change starts with a choice,” she told me. I referenced anger and frustration at some point. Boom! She jumped on that like an eagle pouncing on a snake in the long grass! They are definitely areas I’ve struggled with. So had Christine. It’s about recognising the triggers and signs that come up to get a handle on things before they take over. You steer the ship, not the other way around. I asked a few more questions, she shared more insight and that was me finished on the carpet! We had to pull a coloured feather from her bag. I pulled yellow which means “a willingness to be seen. Being visible and stepping into your power”. Appropriate I would say. 

Everybody got to have a go on the carpet and it was interesting to observe some interactions. Some had their walls up like they wanted to outthink Christine with their answers. Resistance was ripe in a few. Others shared stories of incredible tragedy, suffering and life experiences that would bring tears to my eyes. There were so many strong people amongst us, some of them didn’t even know how strong they are to still be here today, not giving up and wanting to make a change. I saw so many lives change that day on the magic carpet. Our ceremony went on well into the night and by the time we concluded it had been about 20 hours! That was a marathon! And Christine went to the toilet only once I think and just continued to give of herself. She had a strength that’s for sure! Another thing she said that I wrote down is “Forgiving is easy, true masters don’t blame”. Something to continually aspire for.